Listening to a mixed tape I made, Ray-approving it. My bro is in town for about a week. Saw new Lord of the Rings and it blew...the rest of the crap from the water. Today, we drove to the coast on Coleman Valley Road, stopped at a few overlooks and Bodega Head. Heard seals barking from their own private island. Came back on the 12, through Sebastapol. Went shopping at Target. Got a X-mas pakage from my Ma and a card from my Grandma. Tomorrow is the big day everyone is up in kahutz about. It will be slow, maybe I will drink my beers and smoke my grass and nap nap nap. If it is clear, hiking at Annandel is a semi-solid plan. I wish my brother was a better conversationalist. I wish he was more assertive. I wish he would smile. I wish I knew how to read him. Neko Case is blaring. I feel rather melancholy. I feel rather sad. I feel lost as always I have so the side effects are nothing new. I wish I were in love with the holidays. I wish I were in love. Some relationships just can't work, so best left them untouched? unturned? Words can sooth and ensnare but are they enough to bind? I got a new CD I love. It is Soundtracks of Our Lives and I really dig it, it is burrowing into my psyche and one day, hopefully, it's alien pods it laid in my chest will explode from this mask. My eyes are a little sore. From being vegan? Me and my bro made the best pasta last night. I ate so much, my stomach had to take out a mortgage to build on another wing. Kori left this morning, Texas bound. Paul has gone to Pennsyvania, Anna to LA with friends. Noone in my crew is around. I will definately do laundry for my Christmas gift. I deserve clean undies! Well, well-wishers, I wish thee well and have a blessed, joyous holiday season. Much love from big arms and dark eyes that hide an emotional labyrinth, do you have enough string and a stout heart?

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