Let me pull from a recent e-mail:

It is sad sometimes that most people with the biggest, healthiest hearts have the weakest hands and those with the strongest hands have the smallest, most anemic hearts, ya know? Power is indeed a burden and a privilege, tightroping the knife’s edge. You know what makes me mad and angry and sad? America being the top terrorist state in the world. Why don’t we Americans know this? You know why!? Because we got the best cannibalistic propaganda and centralized media sources, baby!!! Maybe we just don't want to know and sit by with our game cubes and 24-packs and big macs and television commercials. Oh, yeah, oh yeah, proud to be an American, ashamed of the government. I wish I wasn't in a minority when I say, “Fuck that shit, the government does not do the will of the people, the government wills people to fear, consume and sit on their asses”. You reap what you sow and the common American does not know it’s pretty face from its bloody hands. America is the top terrorist state in the world and it would not surprise me if another 9-11 happens and it wouldn’t surprise me if people were lead to believe that we as a nation including the government were complete innocents and that the best way to peace is to destroy “evil”, some intangible form that is thrown neatly on whoever the government has an agenda out for, "like fucking for virginity" (thanks to whoever I got that from). America is the only nation to be condemned of terrorism (i.e. Nicuragua) in a world court and we shat on the ruling by escalating our terror there and how many American’s do you think know about that ruling? That’s right, not a whole hell of a lot. I need a new nation, how can I be part of something so blatantly two-faced, heartless and cruel? I hate when people say, “Well, you know, it’s still the best nation in the world”. The fuck it is!

On a pleasant note, I think I am going to go see "The 25th Hour" tonite for free, I found out Vicatin is not for me, I am doing much more reading than TV ("9-11" by Chomsky & "Stupid White Men" by Michael Moore now and "The People's History Of the United States" next), I made a good friend in South Carolina feel really good over the IM monopoly, I might go to a Cool School party tonite, I am feeling pretty good, I am now going to get food stamps which helps, and I have been having great dreams recently (last night, though, I had an emasculating dream of being locked in a house "Night Of the Living Dead" style, with zombies surrounding, me looking for a gun or bow and arrow, frantically not finding and finally the zombies get in and are coming down the stairs and I run to my room and throw something in front of the door and the dream ends. It is funny, the first zombie down the stairs is on of my Cool School 2nd graders, Francisco, hahahaha). I have also decided to donate my car to someone. It needs some minor repairs and has 209,000 miles on it, but it runs well. I don't feel like being tied down by it. A car is the worst investment you can make, you are guaranteed to lose money on it. Maybe I should get real-estate instead, that always MAKES money, hahahaha, oh if only money were one of my worries in life, but it's not and I doubt it ever will be. I was thinking of joining an activist group and maybe getting into some low-level politics. All in due time, all in due time. I can dream of being emascualted, but that doesn't mean I have to be in real-life!!

p.s. Ludwig's Eroica is fantastic, so go out and buy it.

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