It's hard having as many crushes as I do. So many women, so lovely are they, so freely my imagination and hope bounces around, so free of worry, guilt and full of possibility. Only I am always by myself. With such flippant thoughts of romance, should I fight it, wait till it is narrowed it's aim, or shoot free into the night sky, to ease it, appease it? Is it a hero's challenge to defeat my fears like a dragon? Is it a test? I know what it is. I am scared shitless. Rejection is a horror story that I never liked and I lied to myself and put on chains. So, ladies, send me packing. Send me away with nothing. I need to fight for myself first. Or maybe I just need a sweet nurse. Freedom is a lonely place. Free to control. Free to destroy. Free to ignore the good advice. Free yourself and serve your soul. I just need to shut up for a while. I need to stop killing myself with censorship. You can only have when you're not trying to. Things must go their own way.

<< | >>